The Definitive Guide

Why Chastity? The Hows and Whys

    His entire body trembles, every touch threatening to overwhelm him. Pleasure courses through him, like electric shocks caressing his long-neglected cock. Finally, after months of denial, he is just a few strokes away from release. His hips buck forward, seeking, yearning…

    …only to feel the cock cage once again secured around his still-throbbing organ. Though he did not orgasm, the good feeling does not leave him – his body continues to rock and twitch with pleasurable sensations as his chastity continues for another day.

    Does the scenario above sound hot? Erotic? Intense? All of the above, but also a little bit intimidating?

    Don’t worry! Achieving that kind of pleasure and trust in your relationship is much simpler than it seems. The journey into male chastity can seem a daunting one, paved with rules, stress, and expectations. Perhaps you’ve read stories that portray male chastity as an elaborate theater requiring a truly staggering amount of props and a need to keep your audience constantly on edge. Maybe you’ve seen example chastity contracts with lists of rules pages upon pages long. But male chastity is more than just complex scenarios and endless rules.

    Daisy Moore's dirty little blogAt its core, male chastity is the concept of limiting or a denying a man’s orgasms, usually with the aid of a device, as a way of exerting dominance and control. It’s simple, erotic, and fulfilling for all involved.

    Male chastity is many things to many couples. It’s a fantasy. It’s a role-play scenario that fulfills the kinks of one, both or all partners. It’s a lifestyle that informs the relationship’s dynamic 24/7. It’s something new they’re trying for the first time after some online research. It’s the way they’ve lived for the past twenty years.

    Whether you’re brand new to male chastity or it’s been your relationship style for years. Our site’s informative articles teach you everything from the basics of being a keyholder to erotic, imaginative play ideas to spice up your teasing sessions. We’ve even got male chastity stories to bring you happy, denial-filled dreams. And, of course, we provide resources for that most important step on your personal male chastity journey – selecting the right device for you or your partner(s).

Understanding the Popularity of Male Chastity

    If you found your way here, most likely either you have fantasized about male chastity or your partner has. You might be nervous. You might even be terrified. You might be struggling to explain to your partner exactly why these fantasies have inhabited your mind for so long. You might have the desire to make your loved one’s spiciest dreams come true but not be quite sure if you’re as into it as they are.

    If you’re scared, nervous or in any way uncertain, let us make a promise to you, right now:
    You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in your relationship or sexual life.

    Anything.
    Ever.
    Understood that? Good.
    Now that we’ve made you that promise, it’s time for some advice:

    Daisy Moore's dirty little blogTalk to your partner(s). Reading this article, or a thousand like it, will not serve as a substitute for a genuine conversation with your partner or partners about consent, fantasies, hard limits, or anything else. All we can do is inform you of the best, safest and most pleasurable ways to engage in this unique and wonderful type of play.

    Have you had that conversation? Good. Now, if you’re interested in trying out male chastity – or even think you might be – let’s get into a little bit of just why people of all genders and sexualities make their bedrooms rock with a locked cock.

    Male chastity is an intense and pleasurable experience both for the caged and denied submissive partner and the dominant partner who hold the key. Because what each gets out of it is so unique, we’ve provided an explanation of “why chastity” from both perspectives.

So You Want to Get Locked?

    Male chastity is, at its heart, an aspect of the much broader “dominance and submission” category of sexual relationships.

    Men (or cock-possessing non-male-identifying individuals) who wish to submit to their partner are often attracted to the idea of symbolically surrendering their cock itself. It’s one of the most intimate forms of surrender – nothing says “I trust you” more than “you control even my body’s most very intimate parts and functions”.

    Of course, male chastity isn’t just about what the dominant gets out of it. Wearing a chastity belt, cock ring or cock cage quite literally prevents your orgasm without your partner’s explicit permission, signified by removing the device.

    Why deny? Well, to put it simply, denial results in some of the most intense, amazing male orgasms it is physically possible to have.

Psychological Effects of Male Chastity

    When a man has an orgasm, his brain releases a chemical called dopamine. Basically, dopamine makes you happy, physically and emotionally. It’s that high you get when you complete a task or reach a goal or eat your favorite meal and suddenly you feel like you could take on the world.

    The male orgasm is one of—if not the—most potent shots of dopamine your brain can get.

    After orgasm, the brain follows up with a second chemical, known as prolactin. Prolactin relaxes you; it causes the sluggish “afterglow” feeling that follows a really good orgasm.

    In men, prolactin forces the dopamine to leave your system quickly. This is the reason that the average male orgasm tends to be short (lasting only 5-10 seconds) and the tired post-coital feeling comes on so quickly.

    But what does a male orgasm look like after a month of being snugly denied within a cock cage?

    Studies show when a male orgasms after a significant period of denial (usually several days to several weeks), his brain releases more dopamine and less prolactin, allowing for a longer, more intense orgasm. Additionally, the dopamine stays in his system longer – for up to several days after orgasm – allowing him to continue feeling happy and energized.

    In short, there is a valid scientific reason why enforced male chastity produces longer and better orgasms with pleasurable, beneficial after effects.

Other Benefits of Enforced Male Chastity – For Him

    But we get it – hormones aren’t sexy. (Unless that’s your thing. We don’t judge!) There are other reasons beyond the scientific to engage in male chastity.

    You get to submit to your partner. You get to make her (or him, or them – people of all orientations enjoy chastity play!) feel confident, sexy and in command.

    You get to be reminded of the submissive little slave and pet that you are. Most likely, the reminders come in physical form – you can constantly feel that cage keeping your poor neglected cock from getting hard or ejaculating.

    And, at the end of all of it, when you’ve been a good enough boy to earn your release, you get to have a mind-blowing, earth-shattering, simply amazing orgasm.

    Enforced male chastity is any submissive’s dream. Maybe you’re locked up as punishment because you came before your partner would let you. Maybe your caging is a permanent one, with orgasms earned by good behavior. Either way, you’re totally, completely and most importantly physically at your keyholder’s control. Even when temptation strikes and you so desperately want to succumb, you simply can’t – that cage around your cock will come off if and only if your partner allows it.

    Of course, there’s a number of kinks that can be combined with male chastity to result in an even sexier experience.

    Are you a fan of foreplay? A simple cock cage cleaning session can turn into an extended tease that sets your every nerve on fire.

    How about prostate stimulation? When you’re caged, that humble bundle of nerves is often your best and only hope of producing the spine-tingling sexual sensations denied to your cock.

    Pain’s your game? Spanking is a lovely punishment for those times when you just can’t hold it until you’re given permission.

    Exhibitionism up your alley? Have your keyholder take you out in public in tight pants as you try to hide the bulge of the cage and the rattle of your padlock.

    Feel like some feminization? The sissies among us can invest in a perfectly pink cock cage, and how about adding some nice tight panties, stockings or garters? (Chosen by your partner, of course!)

    If you’re looking for even more ideas, check out our play ideas, game suggestions, or perhaps one of our spicy stories to stimulate your imagination. There’s pretty much nothing you can’t do while caged – well, except have an orgasm, of course!

So You Want to Lock Him Up?

    Maybe you’re a natural dominant who dreams of seeing a caged man kneeling before you. Perhaps you’d never heard of male chastity before your partner shyly confessed his fantasies to you, but you’re willing to give it a try. Or you’re somewhere in the middle – eager and excited but not quite sure where to begin.

    Either way, you’re probably asking myself – what’s in it for me? Does an enforced male chastity dynamic include ways for me to feel good, experience pleasure and leave satisfied?

    The answer to that is simple – absolutely, completely, utterly, yes.

    Sure, he’s the one who’s going to be wearing the cage, experiencing the physical sensations of being temporarily or permanently in chastity. Where does that leave you? Well, you’re the one who holds the key – you are the person to whom he has surrendered complete and utter control of what’s most likely his favorite and most well-used part of his body.

    It’s all yours, you lucky thing!
    Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should forgo having conversations with your partner both before and throughout incorporating chastity into your dynamic. What it does mean is that you make the rules. What does your caged partner need to do to earn his orgasms? It’s up to you to decide.

    This is a great way to make your own interests or kinks a part of a chastity relationship. Is your man a virtuoso with his tongue? Maybe he provides those services daily for a week. Want to walk him around the house on a leash while calling him your pet, or have him lick your high heels? Insert kink here - chastity allows you to ask – or demand – any such favor of him while promising a reward that he’ll do anything to earn!

    Many people who keep their partners in chastity report that their caged man has gotten better at satisfying them. The decrease in focus on his own orgasm gives him time to learn more about your body and what makes you moan, wriggle and have orgasms just as explosive as the ones he – occasionally – enjoys!

Taking Chastity Beyond the Bedroom

    But wait, you ask. I’m no professional dominatrix. I’m not even sure if I have a dominant bone in my body. Does agreeing to explore chastity with my partner mean I’m going to have to become a whip-wielding corset-wearing ice queen or king?

    No. If you are, or want to be, any of those things, that’s great! But if you aren’t? Also fabulous!

    Start slow and small. Tease him by wearing his favorite dress of yours, or one of his shirts, around the house all day. Tell him about a sexy dream you had while he sits patiently caged. Whips and heels don’t have to come into it unless you want them to.

    If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, especially starting out, like it’s all too much for you all at once? Tease and torment him by forbidding discussion of chastity or mentioning the cage for a whole day, or even a week! What could be crueler?

    Chastity is about an exchange - limiting your partner’s orgasms in exchange for what you want. Whatever you want. And that’s not limited to sex! Chastity, especially long term, enforced chastity, can become a part of your daily life.

    When you’re working with your partner to brainstorm a list of tasks he could perform to earn an orgasm, think outside the bed! For example, he could wash the dishes, cook your favorite meals a couple times per week, or give you a nice relaxing massage. The best kind of chastity relationship is one where both (or all) partners are satisfied not just physically, but emotionally as well.

Turning Up the Heat

    If you are looking to venture over to the harder side of things, however, male chastity opens up plenty of lovely options there as well! Train your partner to love your strap-on milking his prostate even more than he loves having his cock touched. Spank him, whip him or torment his balls when he breaks one of your rules. And when you do finally relent and allow him that orgasm after months of tormented waiting? Send him to his knees to lick up his own mess – each drop that he misses adds a day to his next time caged!

    Take a look at our play ideas page or our example contract to get even more ideas for rules and tasks. Or, head on over to our keyholder article for an even more in-depth explanation of just what it means to be the one who holds the keys to both your partner’s heart and his cock.

So What Exactly Is a Male Chastity Device?

    The term “male chastity device” refers to any item that can be used to control or outright deny a man’s ability to achieve erection and/or orgasm. Commonly used male chastity devices include cock rings, sounds, chastity belts, and, of course, the classic cock cage.

    Rings are better suited to one-time play sessions, while chastity belts are expensive and must be custom-made for each user. If you’re thinking about making male chastity a regular or permanent – but also affordable-- part of your relationship dynamic, then a cock cage is the item for you!

    A cock cage is a tool that envelops the entire penis and secures the testicles, allowing the man to urinate freely but preventing his ability to become erect, orgasm, or even touch and rub his own cock. Some models consist of a series of rings, while others feature a single ring located behind the testicles and a penis-shaped tube with a hole at the tip for urination. Provided that you clean them regularly, cock cages are suitable for long-term use and 24/7 enforced chastity.

    Most cock cages are secured by a lock, with the key being in the possession of the dominant partner or, in some cases, a trusted outsider such as a professional keyholder.

    Customers can choose between a cage with an external padlock or one with an internal locking device. The external lock allows for a visual reminder of the keyholder’s power and control over the caged partner, while the internal mechanism is rattle-free and perfect for the extra thrill of attending public events while locked up!